Sunday, April 26, 2009

Relocation Successful!

Sorry about the lack of update last week. I spent my entire evening trying to edit and upload a new mission movie, but then Facebook spazzed out at me. And then I moved successfully. More on that.

Last Sunday we all got up early to go to the restaurant to try out the new menu items. Indeed, they are all awesome. Of note is the new dessert item: s'mores! Yes, a big fancy restaurant like earl's sells s'mores. We make our own marshmallows in house and everything! Unfortunately, s'mores are literally impossible to place properly if they are prepared properly. You see, a marshmallow turns liquid when it is warm. If it's stable, that means it's cold and not as good. So Imagine trying to rest a graham cracker on a liquid which is already trying to rest on some chocolate. Even the picture on the spec sheet that they gave us (the spec sheet being the example that we're all supposed to follow) has one of the s'mores collapsed and to the left. So they continue to look funny. They are, however, DELICIOUS.

My favourite new item would have to be the flat breads. One has an Italian tomato mix and the other is hummus. Mmmm, hummus. We have a new sauce for our salmon rolls, which is only known as “Japanese Mustard.” It has a kick like wasabi, but has a sweeter taste. Also it comes up on the receipts as “JAP MUSTARD.” Oh, abbreviations.

And for the record, here are Open Office's spell check suggestions for “s'mores:”


Not making that up. Even that completely random last one.

In logistical news, I am now moved in to my new house! Email me if you want my new mailing address, or just check out my Facebook page. I am now living with Darren and Mark, and they are desperately trying to get me back into playing Magic: The Gathering. The money vampire. I still have my decks and can still play, but I have sworn off buying new cards.

And I need to apologize to Tyler Tracy, as I called him Trevor Tracey in the credits. Sorry man. I'll buy you a footwater next time I see you (inside joke).

I didn't realize it until my mom stopped by yesterday with a birthday present, but my birthday is in the next two weeks! Oh boy! Are you wondering what to get me? Like, what EXACTLY to get me? Well, I'll save you the effort of trying to figure this out on your own. Behold! Ye Amazon Wish list!

Yes! Not one, not two, but THREE seasons of “Dr Who” are in there! I'm not even going to check that list for the next few weeks so, don't worry about me getting the surprise ruined. Shop away!

Oh yeah, I got the job at Green Oasis. Starts tomorrow morning, but we had some insane weather this week, so we'll see what happens.

For your video, here is what I managed to make last week. Starring Elders Jensen, Price, Horan, Moon and Tracy.

Macon Wars 1: Halowned!

Yes, that was all in one take. You're welcome. I'm sorry if it's being cut up by the blog, but I still can't figure out how to make the text part of my blog wider. Any help?

And now random movies. They're both pretty old, but they still make me laugh every time.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Creepy clearance

Is it just me...

...or does that look like a chapter heading in some sort of serial killer handbook?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Proff that mullets make you lame

Did my first two closing shifts at work. I don't mind working a long shift, but walking past the bars by the Bourbon Street exit at midnight is pretty gross. As I walked to my car I saw some woman crouching by a car that was parked next to mine. I couldn't really make out any details accounting to my bad eyesight and that my glasses are all smudged up after eight hours of washing dishes/standing by deep fryers, but as I got got closer she stood up and adjusted/buttoned her skirt. I never knew poor eyesight could be such a blessing! Hey, for living in Edmonton for as long as I have and only encountering two people relieving themselves in public, I thin I'm doing all right. As I hurried into my car she started walking around her own vehicle, barely managing to keep upright. I kept an eye on her for a minute to make sure she didn't try to drive away. For a minute she alternated between falling into the door with falling on the hood, and she seemed to settle on a “barely propped up against the side of the car” position. Was she too drunk to open her own car? Was it a friend's car? Was it a stranger's car? I'm just glad it wasn't my car.

I recently found something stupid that keeps brining a smile to my face. I think the target audience would fit only in the small overlap in a Venn diagram between the “comic book fan” circle and “retarded sense of humor” circle, of which I squarely fit. Can you squarely fit into a circle? Anyway, here's the link to a blog post: Follow the instructions regarding the Wolverine cover and the shark clip.

For those who have been following my letters since my mission, Mark and Darren, two former roommates (and overall awesome dudes) of mine were at the airport when I got back home from Georgia. They've got a place here in Edmonton, and I totally have procrastinated going over to their place to hang out. Last Thursday I went over to their place, and they've got a guy moving out of their house soon. I totally want to move in with them, but there are some pros and cons about my place and Mark's place. Mark's place is close to where I've applied for work, but I don't want to just abandon the guys I'm living with without finding a replacement. I wasn't really sure how the rent worked because I didn't sign a lease when I moved in. I just sort of showed up. So I'm 50/50 on the decision. Then like, five minutes ago, as I'm updating my blog, my roommate Dave comes to talk to me about another roommates brother wanting to move into our house, and that I would need to find a new place by June. Dave was the guy who I talked to when I moved in, and he didn't know about the other roommate's brother getting priority over other tenants, so he felt kinda bad about telling me I needed to move in a month. But I was all, “Sweet, I've already got another place, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging.”

Sometimes two things happen at the same time and things go terribly. Sometimes the opposite happens.

Life is good.

And for other comics, weirdness that I've run across, ever wonder why Spider-Man doesn't just go and take care of Venom once and for all?

THAT is why. Egads. Check out Supes' 90's hair. Found on archives. Yes, I read too many comic book blogs.

For your video, something classic from the Improv Everywhere.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Oh, Facebook apps

Facebook Apps. Every time I think I find one that may actually be usefull I'm quickly punished for my naivete. Check the middle one.

Probably not on his father's side.

Update: Clicked on the "learn more" part and it turns out it's and April Fools prank put out by FamilyLink. I just didn't check my notices until today. Clevah.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Quint Essential

Highlights from this week include my shift that I spent training on the appetizer section of the kitchen at work. One of the neatest things was learning how to make shrimp sushi rolls. I know that sushi purists cringe when they're called that because there's some sort of technical term for them. I just call them “sushi” because that's the mental image I want to invoke. Like how a person starts a description of a person by saying “Now I don't want to say she was an insecure, tightly wound, mental case” because no matter what they say after that you've already got that first mental image. Hoorah for intentional misdirection! Wait, what was I even talking about?

Shrimp rolls! Here's how to make a shrimp roll.

Step 0: (I remembered these after I wrote the rest and I don't want to change the numbering): Take out your bamboo mat. Everything is done on the mat.
Step 0.5: Put a bit of water or ginger vinegar on your hands to stop the rice from sticking too bad. Then clap your hands together to ward off evil kami (spirits), tengu (goblins), or Pokémon (pocket monsters).
Step 1: Take a piece of nori (seaweed paper) and spread the sticky sushi rice all over the thing. Like, all over. To the edges and stuff.
Step 2: Sprinkle sesame seeds on the thing. This makes it look festive.
Step 3: Turn thing over.
Step 4: Place a line of the... something... sauce (I can't remember the name) along the sushi, followed by a green onion and fried shrimp. Like, tempura fried. I think.
Step 5: Firmly roll the sushi using the bamboo mat, tucking in the one edge.
Step 6: Okay, it's splitting open. I didn't tuck it in right.
Step 7: Tuck it in a bit and then roll it together again.
Step 8: What the crap, it's still splitting along the side. Okay, the freakin' green onion is pressing against the fold of it.
Step 9: Open up the whole freakin' thing and put the freakin' green onion in the middle.
Step 10: Firmly roll the sushi using the bamboo mat.
Step 11: Bllaarrg. The stupid onion is still making the thing pop like an appendix.
Step 12: Okay, I was still messing up the place to fold it, so I'll just change that a bit.
Step 13: AH CRAP the shrimp fell out of the end. And it won't go back in without me totally manhandling this thing.
Step 14: Unroll, re-roll. Great, now something sauce is all over the place.
Step 15: Okay, it's finally a long, marginally solid lump.
Step 16: Cut the roll in half and then cut the uneven tips off, and throw them away.
Step 17: Weep as you throw perfectly edible food away for simply for the simple yet unforgivable crime of not being pretty/symmetrical.
Step 18: Cut in half again and again and... again? Whatever, you should be left with 8 pieces.
Step 19: Put on a small rectangular tray with a serving cup of soy sauce, a teensy-weensy-peensy bit of wasabi (decongestant), and a ginger rose.
Step 20: Wonder what the heck the ginger rose is for. Are you supposed to eat it? Is it a garnish? A seasoning? Art? Some sort of message?!?
Step 21: Hey, I just found a take-out menu on my desk. The sauce is called togorashi (fighting monkey*) sauce and the shrimp are definitely tempura (from the Latin “tempora” and introduced to Japan by Portuguese missionaries in the 16th century. Seriously!) .

Anything else happen this weekend? Oh yes, the One Hundred and Seventy-Somethingth General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! My favourite talk was from the final session on Sunday when Dallin H Oaks used greedy executives giving themselves bonuses as an example of entitlement. And that, AIG, is an APOSTOLIC BURN! Ooooooh! Elder Oaks also used the word “retards” in his talk and quoted from C S Lewis. How long until we can just consider the complete works of C S Lewis as cannon? Heck, next time we update our scriptues we can throw The Screwtape Letters behind The Pearl of Great Price. And we can call it a quint instead of a quad! Sweeeeet. Then instead of calling it "Scripture Chase" we can call it "Quint Sprinting."

What also caught my attention was when Gary E Stevenson referenced the popular ABC program “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” See, mom? It's cannon now. We can watch it on Sunday and not feel guilty, right?

And that was this week. I've got a job interview coming up to do some landscaping, so we'll see how that goes.

Oh, your videos! Almost forgot. Here's what's awesome this week:

*Just kidding. It means red pepper sauce.