Sunday, February 21, 2010

Happy Suicide Prevention Week!

Or as most non-students call it, reading week.

I went for a laser eye surgery evaluation on Tuesday. In the waiting room they had cookies and drinks to take. What followed is actually a fairly accurate snapshot of my decision making process:

Hmm. I've been waiting here for about ten minutes now. I've already had two cookies. I really want some more, but I don't want to open and close that cookie tin again and again. Maybe I don't need anymore. But they're really good and I haven't had lunch yet. Oh man, cookies. I've finished my glass of water, but that didn't satiate my desire cookies. Maybe I shouldn't have any more. No, I love cookies. But what if they call me right away? It's been eleven minutes? Okay, plan is, I'll take two cookies, eat them quickly, and those will be my last. *reaches into jar and grabs two cookies* Daniel? AAAH!! She called me and I'm touching two cookies! I can't stuff both in my mouth, I'll look like a crazy person! I can't put them back, she saw me touching them! She's staring right at me! I know! Stuff them in the empty glass of water and come back for them later! Yes! BRILLIANT!

And they were still there after my final consultation. Boo yeah. Also I'm a candidate for laser eye surgery.

Russ and I went to the Alberta Gallery of Art. For culture! Delicious, syrupy culture! Apparently the Art Gallery on Churchill Square was partially devoured by a technorganic amoeba while I was in Georgia for two years. Here were the exhibits.

Edgar Degas: Figures in Motion

We discovered that if you take the paintings of ballerinas stretching on the poles and look at them sideways they look like... other kinds of dancers. That use poles. Ahem. We also had all sorts of smart-alec comments for everything.

“Maybe these lumpy bronze casts are actual photo-realistic depictions of how people looked back then. Yeah, all his painting are women coming out of the bathtub. You never see them going in the bathtub. They've got a three in thick layer of mud on them. That's why they take so many baths.”

Francisco Goya

Paintings and stuff.

Karsh: Image maker

Hey, did you know that every single famous portrait you have ever seen in your life was done by an immigrant named Karsh? Struth, mate. Check it out.

The Murder of Crows by Janet Cardiff and George Bures Miller

Neat setup. It was a whole bunch of chairs set up in a circle with about 50 speakers placed around the room (some of the chairs) and an old timey record player horn for a centrepiece. Each speaker had a different audio track, so sometimes you would hear footsteps or birds or whatever from different locations. It was awesome.

The Rain Room

I can't find any evidence of this exhibit on the AGA website or on google, but trust me, it exists, and it's pretty cool. It's a recreation of a tiny dentist's office from Japan, and when you stand inside it there is rain on the windows, and thunder and lightning. Also there is a fan in the room that randomly turns on and off. Cool.

So now I'm cultured! Hooray for me! I'll get a non-prescription monocle once my laser eye surgery is done.

Batman's Greatest Team-Up was with... Zellers?

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