Sunday, March 7, 2010
Gnarly to the max
I went in for my laser surgery on Friday. The procedure itself only takes about ten minutes. They numb your eye, prop it open, cut a little layer loose and then zap it. It's not particularly comfortable, but you can't see or feel the laser. You can, however, smell the layer of flesh that's being burnt away by the laser. That's... unsettling. I'm taking four kinds of eye drops a day until Wednesday.
So far I'm healing well. I'm almost to 20/20 vision, but I occasionally get a bit of vertigo when I look all the way down the street, see clearly, and then realize that I'm not wearing glasses. By brain is still going “HOW CAN THIS BEEEE?” I still reach up to my nose to adjust glasses instinctively at times.
The aftercare for getting laser surgery says to avoid getting shampoo or chemicals in your eyes, so I've simply just not showered or shaved since Friday morning. Also, I started combing my hair back to see what would happen, and now it's in a giant poof that I can't remedy. This brings us to church this morning. I walk in wearing sunglasses (eyes still a bit sensitive to light, and there are windows everywhere in that building), three day stubble and Kramer hair. I look like a complete spaz and I head to the back just hoping to not get noticed. The second I sit down one of the counselors zeroes directly in on me and asks me to say opening prayer. Geez, thanks. I'm not taking my sunglasses off for prayer, it's bright in there and they had just adjusted the rows so that the podium faces the windows.
So I guess in the end I delivered the most totally radical prayer of my life. The content was the same as a normal prayer but I had a starter mullet and was wearing sunglasses indoors.
Elder Dan Lokhorst, First Quorum of the 80s. [Insert CSI: Miami YEEEEEEEAH!]
The Dark Knight with Laurel and Hardy