Monday, August 2, 2010

But what if the dream... was in the Matrix?

Last week I had to take a chair back to Ikea. At Ikea you take a number for service at the Exchanges and Returns desk. I had number ten and had been waiting about fifteen minutes, when suddenly both return desks changes numbers at the same time, fizzled for a moment, and skipped over ten. Dude! Not really knowing procedure, I just walked over and frantically yelped “my number was skipped” to anyone that would listen. One of the attendants spotted me and, with a sorrowful nod, said that I would be right after twelve. I must have looked pretty upset, because she gave quite a sincere apology when I made it to the return desk.

“I'm really sorry about that. Thanks for your patience.” To let her know I wasn't scandalized in the slightest, I responded with “That's okay. We're actually in the Matrix and someone is trying to erase me from existence, so it's not your fault.” She laughed at that, and when she went to scan my chair into the system, she had to type the number in manually because the scanner wasn't working. “Wow, they really have it in for you.” “Yeah, I'm about to reveal a whole bunch of conspiracies. I'm getting thwarted at every turn.” With my chair successfully returned I went to go upstairs for an Ikea breakfast, but the restaurant was undergoing renovation, and only serving cold items. No breakfast.

Immediately, I became slightly paranoid.

Then I saw Inception. That didn't help ease my paranoia.

There seems to be a mosquito invasion in the city. Normally I only put bug spray on if I'm working in the forest, but I had to apply it three times today and I still got bit on the elbows.

I hate pine trees. I hate them so very very much. They mess up your lawn, and now they're spraying crap all over my car. I spent almost two hours today trying to clean pine goop off of my car. I was mostly successful, but there are some stain lines that may need a different chemical for treatment.

Last Friday had a pretty lousy start to the day. One of the guys went to get some bug-spray from the workshop cabinet, and someone had precariously balanced a can of bear spray in there the night before, so it fell out, landed on its cap, broke, and sprayed the entire contents of the bottle all over the shop. Bear spray is HORRIBLE. I spent a couple minutes inside getting my gear on, thinking I could just man my way through the acrid fog, but after a few minutes I started dry heaving pretty bad. Then I remembered that I had a respirator in my locker. Wow, the respirator that I hated so much in the past came in handy for once.

Bethany was in town for the weekend, and we caught up over dinner at Earls. One of the songs that was playing in the background was Datarock's “Fa Fa Fa.” I was surprised to hear it because it gets no radio play, and among Datarock's music it's really the only disco-influenced one they've put out (that I know of).

Mann, I love that song. I wish the rest of their music had that level of funktitude.

Test Notes


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